Medicare coverage policies that encourage individuals to be irresponsible with their health and fitness.

Poorly graded concrete.

Rock-hard, wrist-slashing volleyballs.

Irresponsible people.

Cans of "Whole Cashews" priced higher than cans of "Cashew Halves and Pieces", that are chock full of cashew halves and pieces.

Mandatory ethnic disposition surveys.

- Thanks to H. Knierim

Businesses with poor inventory tracking.

People who lack big-picture perspective.

Offices that ask you for copies of publications that they have ownership over.

Telephone customer service recordings with circular menus.

- Thanks to H. Knierim

Emails that are printed, then scanned into large document files, and then emailed for wide distribution.

Rental car companies with "government employee surcharges".

Cafeterias with backed-up sewer systems.

Confusing color coding.

Unnecessary misunderstanding.

Hypersensitive remote control devices.

Rubbery cake.

Vehicle accidents that close major bridges.

At a performance by the Kinks, audience members who sing along to "Lola" incorrectly.

Restaurant grill operators with a terribly poor memory and attitude.

Grossly understaffed restaurants.

Waste-of-space $0.02 brigades in federal government.

Hotel towels that smell like burnt margarine.

Fraud, waste, and abuse.

Overzealous government institutions.

Those who lobby to abolish the teaching of evolution.

Those who oppose bigotry in a bigoted fashion.

Cowards who back down in the presence of bogus threats.

Critics who offer no alternative suggestions.

  Construction workers who litter.

Telephone recordings that recommend calling back during business hours, but fail to provide what the business hours are.

Overcooked food.

Crates of milk cartons that, because of one leak, have milk spilled on each and every carton.

Censorship.

Computer software that a) directs you to close all applications, b) asks you if you want to save before closing, and then, c) upon responding to the question in the affirmative, won't let you save.

Poorly designed GPS receivers.

People who pour coffee granules in water fountains.

Websites that permit only circular linking.

- Thanks to H. Knierim

Attempting to light an incense stick and mistakingly lighting a bottle rocket instead.

Colleagues who seek your blessing only when they know they already have your blessing.

Cafeterias with broken dishwashing machines.

People inept at minding their own business.

Politicians who attempt to force agendas against the will of your organization, and then have the nerve to request, from your organization, endorsement of such agendas.

Careless workmanship.

Having to say 'I told you so'.

Slimy long-distance service marketing.

Overstuffed napkin containers.

- Thanks to H. Knierim.

Price hikes without customer notification.

Automatic car wash facilities with depleted cleaning solutions.

"Scratch-resistant" lenses that scratch easily.

Overused public address systems.

Conversations in front of high traffic door ways.

Frivelous lawsuits.

Inefficient cafeterias.

Warm soda.

Rock stars who bitch about life as a rock star.

Pretentious slimeball contractors.

.pdf files with misaligned scans.

.pdf files with non-searchable text.

Dumb traffic lights.

  People who confuse Twizzlers with Twisters.

  Restaurants that automatically add "gratuity" charges.

Fast food restaurants that advertise specific items, charge for specific items, and then, 20 minutes later, notify customers that the restaurant is out of the specified items by presumptuously substituting the specified items.

Rapid de-compression aboard airliners.

Hotels that forget to stock rooms with washcloths, and then attempt to charge for missing washcloths.

Poorly cut newspapers with pages stuck together.

People who, after being embarrassed by the exposure of their negligence, personally attack those who've exposed such negligence, as a means of attempting to mask and/or rationalize the negligence.

Disingenuous offers to help.

S#*thead reporters.

Colleagues who request feedback, subsequently ingore the feedback, make a wrong decision because they've ignored the feedback, and then act immaturely when experiencing the consequences of their wrong decision.

Forms with poorly allocated writing space.

Dysfunctional institutions.

Motor vehicle operators who bitch about gas prices while filling.

Engine vacuum leaks.

Fuel surcharges.

Flash headlines of insignificant news.

Credit card companies that advertise a "no annual fee" benefit that expires after the first (annual) year.

-Thanks to D. Malinowski

Ticket outlets that a) are unable to sell, over the phone, specific tickets that are available on the web, and b) have malfunctioning websites.

Re-mastered CDs with defects.

Cereal box lid flaps with insufficient structural integrity.

Telephone attendants who require repeated spellings of your name.

- Thanks to H. Knierim (K-N-I-E-R-I-M)

"Optimization" equations that are missing critical variables.

Rebates.

Narrow-minded scientists intolerant to viewing topics from more than one perspective.

Race card witch hunts.

Excessive news analyst commentary.

"News from ten feet away" special reports.

Milk cartons that open improperly.

Beverage machines with soiled soda cans.

Club cards.

-Thanks to M. Lamping

Rental car agencies that don't have your reserved car ready upon arrival.

Reporters who ask dumb questions.

People who can't give straight answers.

Scrimpy pizza toppings.

Work stoppages caused by poor planning.

Politicians who shake their thumbs during speeches, as if they're holding an imaginary piece of paper.

Clueless receptionists.

University book stores that are unable to adequately stock their supplies for classes conducted at their very campus.

Limited-ground-clearance car air dams.

Vending machines that hold crushables in the top racks.

National recording acts who alter their lyrics with the intention of naming the city they're playing at, and who proceed to name an incorrect city.

Used auto dealers that advertise specific cars on the web that salespeople are unable to locate upon inquiry.

Hotel shower heads that require adjustment using dial rotation with respect to base, but permit, undesirably, entire head rotation with respect to pipe.

Presentation laptops with font drivers different from those of the source computers generating the presentations.

Stock market losers who whine.

Salad bars with ergonomically-challenged sneeze shields.

Rental car companies with auto class definitions different from those of the EPA.

Envelope paper cuts on the tongue.

Restaurants, with self-serve soda dispensers, that charge for refills.

- Thanks to J. Friedman

Witch hunts for scapegoats.

Vending machines that damage products during dispensing.

Parmesan cheese that smells like four-day old wet cigarette butts.

Parmesan cheese shakers with micron-filter-sized dispensing holes.

Monday morning quarterbacks.

Knee-jerk decisions.

Water rationing enforcement in communities that mandate irrigation-thirsty landscaping practices.

Technical sophistication at the expense of robustness.

Use of the word "inappropriate" to subjectively categorize, in the absense of solid support for such a depiction.

Shifting concrete.

Use of the word "clearly" in desperate hope of supporting a point that, in reality, isn't clear at all.

Useless meetings.

Psychopaths.

Errant hockey pucks.

Tax code of perennially increasing complexity.

Poorly-blended cherry milkshakes.

Hyperactive hostility towards terminology.

Broken crematory furnaces.

Subjectively-judged sporting events.

  Unsolicited newspaper deliveries.

Brittle pizza crust.

Charities that spend contribution money to generate and send solicitation junk mail to the contributors.

Entertainers who campaign against the side effects of overpopulation, and proceed to bring 5-6 children into the world.

Obnoxiously complicated dinner recipes.

Clogged spray bottles.

Gravitationally malfunctioning snack machines.

Bait-and-switch soda machines, that inform you that a particular product is sold out only after receiving a coin deposit.

Pop-up windows.

Food-poisoned office potlucks.

"Heritage" awareness groups.

"Greatest Hits" CD compilations that utilize audio mixes different from those of the original hits.

College university teaching assistants that can't speak English.

Individulal-sized refreshment containers that advertise multiple servings per container.

Hyperactive flag etiquette nazis.

Webmasters unskilled at generating picture thumbnails.

Those lacking knowledge who compensate by talking out of their asses.

Waste Management companies that charge customers additional fees for recycling.

Soggy tater tots.

Miscalibrated staplers.

Motels that change bedspreads as rationale for advertising their establishments as "recently renovated".

Overlapping television captions.

Photocopiers with smeared glass.

Interruptions to uninterruptable power supplies.

Constantly topped-off several-year-old restaurant ketchup bottles.

CPU boot failures.

When a perfectly good stadium is replaced and imploded.

Mandatory valet parking.

Double standards.

Unavailability of barbeque sauce.

Malfunctioning automatic toilets without manual override capability.

Wristwatch bands that agitate arm hair follicles.

Cookies saturated with lipids.

Chest-level hotel shower heads.

Mixed nuts containers that have less than three Cashews within.

"White chocolate chip" cookies that actually have macadamia nuts.

Messenger killers.

Leaky vacuum cleaners.

Murky tap water.

Nominal case computer programming.

Overdependence on government.

Predictable energy crises.

Barking dogs at 1:45 in the morning.

Meetings advertised with start times but without end times.

Sore losers.

PIzza crust diguised as "breadsticks".

Automobile price haggling.

Cheese paper.

Long lines of speck-free cars at automatic car wash facilities.

"Live" music DVDs with egregious signs of studio vocal overdubs.

"Houskeeping! [knock knock knock] Housekeeping!" at 6:20 A.M.

Noisy gastronomics.

Hotel washcloths folded into the shape of a clamshell.

3-day-old doughnuts advertised as "Continental Breakfast".

Planned encores at concerts.

Zesty!!!!!

Telephone customer service lines that promise to answer calls in the order received, only to disconnect after ten minutes.

-Thanks to D. Malinowski

Telephone customer service lines that, during operating hours, tell you to call back during operating hours.

-Thanks to D. Malinowski

Mushy apples.

Rental car companies that charge 3 times more for gas than gas stations.

Checks that state, "This is not a check." 

Comediennes who begin and finish the same routine with the same joke.

Self-destructive personalities.

Scorched earth diplomacy.

Gridlock.

Television election special networks with incompetent statisticians.

Beds covered with 50 pillows.

Human pollution.

Condonement of dishonesty.

Complacency.

Singing bass fish.

XXXL T-shirts that don't even fit your dog after the first wash.

Overdependence on foreign oil.

Hotel towels that have been washed so many times that no absorbent cotton is left, and only polyester remains.

State-of-the-art buildings with 1940's technology water pressure regulators.

Commercials that induce 10 db sound level increases.

Smokers in non-smoking facilities.

Tread that separates from tires.

Callers on cell phones with terrible reception.

"Best of" CD compilatons that are limited to recordings with one record company.

Airline flights cancelled due to "maintenance issues" [a.k.a. not enough passengers].

CD boxed sets that are missing major hits.

Hotel Mini-Bars.

Sloppy landscaping.

Unenforceable fireworks bans.

Criminals that commit murder before suicide, instead of the other way around.

Restaurants that serve drinks with straws condoms.

Hotels that fold triangles on the ends of toilet paper rolls.

Lack of accountability.

28 May - 3 June 2000

Lack of integrity.

News program guests that can't give straight answers.

Uncontrollable controlled burns.

Overdependency on stop gap solutions.

Hotels with excessively peeling wallpaper.

Soda fountains with suboptimal syrup-to-water ratios.

Spellcheckers that presumtuously automatically override the judgment of authors.

Gross-tasting milk.

Those who opine that lack of planning on their part is cause for panic on the part of others.

Patent laws that inhibit captialism.

Deadwood upper managers.

Naive overdependence on the internet for commerce.

Naive colleagues who attempt to solve issues via backstabbing.

Airline dinner chicken filled with cheese.

Hotels that advertise "Heated Pool"s that end up being closed ten months out of the year.

Itchy shirt tags.

"Convenience" fees.

Weather "teams" that don't accompany forecasts with confidence figures.

Gender-segregated bathrooms despite civil rights legislation passed 35 years earlier.

Universal misunderstanding of when a Millenium begins and ends.

Precautionary measures that cause more damage than what they were designed to protect against.

Pump spray bottles with broken trigger return springs.

Pop music stars who fail to sell 1/10th of their $995 New Year's Eve home town show tickets, and cancel citing "Y2K Concerns". Yeah!--"Y" pay "2K" for a pair of tickets?

Businesses that request your presence at their establishments to fix problems they caused in the first place.

Hotels that charge $9 per night for parking for an entire week, even when patrons don't arrive by car.

Door-to-door solicitors who necessitate forced removal from premises.

Airlines, hotels, and rental car companies that charge exorbitantly varying rates for the same seats, rooms, and automobiles, respectively.

Self-professed "romantic"s who practice non-communication.

Excessive use of passive voice.

After you tell the barber you want it "tapered in the back", he/she goes to grab the clippers, but picks up the stun gun by mistake.

People who tear pages out of hotel phone books.

1.6 gpf toilets that require 2.0 fpu (flushes per use).

Five Star hotels that, despite recent remodeling, still have 1960's vintage, wall-mounted air conditioning systems.

Five Star hotels that don't even have ice machines down the hallway.

Smarmy-lookin' computer paperclips that wink at you.

Duct tape that tends to tear easier lengthwise than it does orthogonally to lengthwise.

Covenants books that are 3/4" thick.

Broken industrial-size sprinkler heads that shoot water 40 feet up into the air, and onto stainless steel carports at 3 A.M.

Sprinkler systems that water more square feet of sidewalk than lawn.

Automatic sprinkler systems that operate even during windstorms and/or extensive periods of rain.

Construction zones with ordinance-dodging placebo erosion controls.

Corn Dogs with excessively oversized wieners.